”I just love being angry and resentful!” – said no one ever.
In a culture-driven, never-ending quest for happiness, the critical truth of why forgiveness is important is so often overlooked.
We don’t want to feel angry and resentful. We want to feel joyful and happy. The power of letting go and forgiving others will have such a profound impact on your emotional, spiritual and physical well-being.
We’ll explore the healing power of forgiveness and why it is so important and crucial to your relationships, your overall happiness, and well-being.
Forgiveness is a choice that you and I both have. We can choose to forgive and let go, or we can choose to hold on to the negative emotions, grudges and resentment. Embracing forgiveness is absolutely freeing. But withholding forgiveness is like a caged-in trap. And bitterness will end up being the bars you’re stuck behind.
Through a powerful story of forgiveness, you’ll learn how the effects of forgiveness can touch every area of your life. If you have been hurt by someone else’s actions or words, understanding forgiveness and learning to let go can truly set you free and pave the way to abounding joy and true happiness.
When you are finished reading this article, I hope you are left with a weight lifted off knowing you are completely forgiven and I hope you have the courage to forgive others!
Understanding Forgiveness and Its Importance
What do you do when you find yourself upset? Angry? Or resentful toward someone else?
Maybe you have a friend you call and complain to? Or someone you call and vent to? “You need to vent sometimes” – they say.
I want to offer a different solution other than calling your best friend to vent or complain when something or someone has upset you. And that brings us right back to this essential point of why forgiveness is so important.
Forgiveness goes beyond a simple, quick, saying “I forgive you.” It involves a deep understanding of the hurt caused, a deliberate choice to let that go, and choosing not to hold it against that person.
You commit to move forward. When you make the choice to forgive someone else, you release yourself from the burden of anger and resentment.
It’s absolutely freeing! And peace will settle in!
The Parable of the Lost Son and the Role of Forgiveness
To understand why forgiveness is important, there is no better place to look than the ultimate source, Scripture itself. Specifically, we’ll look at The Parable of the Lost Son and the underlying theme of forgiveness found within it.
I want to focus on the father in this parable. Not to diminish anything about the lost son (also called prodigal son, and I use those interchangeably here) but today’s focus is on the character of the father. And specifically how Jesus portrays our Heavenly Father through it and a surprising way the father in this parable teaches us how we can relate to our own kids, spouse, family, friends, coworkers, etc.
I recently read a book called “The Gift of Forgiveness” by Charles Stanley recommended to me by a friend. I read it in 4 days. I couldn’t put it down! If you have not read it, I can’t recommend it enough. So good! You can get “The Gift of Forgiveness” here.
The Gift of Forgiveness talks about The Parable of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15:11-24. I read the parable in my Bible for myself while reading the book. Sidenote: when reading this book (or any book for that matter) which references Scripture, go in your Bible and read the verse or verses for yourself. There is something powerful when you read from the living, active Word of God in addition to whatever book you’re reading that is referencing a particular verse. For example, if you read “The Gift of Forgiveness”, when Scripture is referenced in the text, open your Bible, and actually re-read the verse referenced in your Bible too.
I don’t want you to miss the Parable of the Lost Son in this article either. It’s too important, so here it is in its entirety:
The Parable of the Prodigal Son
“And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate. Luke 15:11-24 (ESV).
Understanding God’s Forgiveness and the Nature of His Character
There are two important points I want to draw attention to that I never grasped before. It was eye-opening and 🤯 in the best way.
I hope to draw your attention to the nature of God’s character regarding His forgiveness. I don’t mean a basic “God is forgiving.” Because of course He is! Christ died on the cross to forgive our sins. But I want to take it a step further and share certain insights from “The Gift of Forgiveness” book and how you can apply it to your personal life.
The first important point is this: the father in the parable forgave his son before the son asked for his forgiveness. And the second important point is this: forgiveness impacts our relationships with others.
Forgiving Before Being Asked to Forgive
The father in the parable forgave before he was asked to forgive.
Charles Stanely talks about it in “The Gift of Forgiveness” and describes it this way: when the son was a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
“And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” Luke 15: 20 (ESV)
He already had compassion on his son, before his son even got to him and said a word. His son was still a long way off.
Verse 19, before we get to verse 20 above, tells us that the son had prepared to apologize, so-to-speak, and ask for forgiveness.
That’s an important part of this forgiveness that I don’t want you to miss. The son says “I will say to him, “father..” and he arose and came to his father as seen here:
“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”And he arose and came to his father. Luke 15:17-20a. (ESV)
Here is what happens next: when the son was still a long way off – I picture him way down the road – his father had compassion on him and ran to meet him and embraced him.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. ” Luke 15:20
The order is so important! The father didn’t have compassion because the son apologized. The father didn’t have compassion because his son asked for forgiveness.
The Father’s Nature is to Forgive
The father had compassion because it is his nature and he had already forgiven his son.
Before he ever asked.
Just like the father in this parable, your Heavenly Father already has compassion on you. You are forgiven at the cross. It is finished. Forgiveness is His nature.
How Forgiveness Affects the Relationships in the Parable of the Lost Son
The son now gets a chance to say his “planned” speech if you will in verse 21: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”
Let’s pause a second. “I have sinned against you.” How we can relate! I used to think this parable was all about the wayward son who decided to go back home. It’s about so much more! It’s about the character of the father – and the character of your Heavenly Father, my Heavenly Father.
What happens next in the parable is astonishing! And I never caught it before:
The father doesn’t say “I forgive you!”
The father doesn’t say “thank you for apologizing, of course I forgive you.”
He could have. But he didn’t.
What does he do instead? He almost brushes it off. Kind of like the son’s apology didn’t matter. Like it wasn’t necessary for him to hear in order to extend his forgiveness to his son.
The father in the parable actually doesn’t even address the apology! He responds by telling his servants “Bring quickly..”
‘But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.‘ Luke 15:22-23
He didn’t address the forgiveness; he had already forgiven his son.
What You Can Learn About Forgiveness
Using the Parable of the Lost Son as our example, what can we learn about forgiveness and how can you and I apply it to our own lives?
Your Heavenly Father has forgiven you through Jesus’ death on the cross.
Hold onto that unwavering truth.
You are forgiven. Past, present, future. It is finished.
Just like the father forgave his son before he returned, God your Heavenly Father has already forgiven you.
He doesn’t forgive you because you ask to be forgiven. You are forgiven at the cross.
He forgives you because Jesus died on the cross. It is finished. You are forgiven because it is His nature. It is His character to forgive.
And at the cross, it is finished. You are forgiven. You just need to accept that fact.
I pray you accept it.
Forgiveness in Your Personal Life and its Impact On Your Relationships
If you want to be Christ-like, you have to forgive.
If I truly want to be like Christ, I have to forgive. I never understood the enormity of this truth – that to be like Christ, we must forgive like Christ.
We can parent in a state of forgiveness. We can love our spouse in a state of forgiveness. We can love our friends and our family in a state of forgiveness. Just like we are commanded to in Colossians 3 and like the father in the parable of the prodigal son.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV)
Conflicts will come up with your spouse. Your kids will disobey you, be disrespectful, not listen at all. Your friends will say or do things that will hurt you.
But what you do with those conflicts when they arise – and they will – is so important which choice you make.
You can choose to forgive or you can choose to be stuck. You can choose to forgive immediately just like the father in the parable – just like we are commanded to in Colossians 3 “when you have a complaint” – it’s at the moment of complaint. Not after you’ve mulled it over. Not after you’ve vented your anger are we commanded to forgive. We’re commanded to forgive at the moment of complaint against another.
Your choice of forgiving someone else is the difference between finding yourself stuck in a trap of anger and resentment versus finding yourself free of the anger to love the other person and accept them as they are. When you forgive, you perceive them differently.
It sets you free.
The Effect Of Forgiving Those Who’ve Hurt You
If you chose to forgive someone who has hurt you, who has wronged you, who has betrayed you, what will happen?
You will be set free.
You will be set free from the anger.
You will be set free from resentment.
You will be set free from the cage of bitterness we touched on in the very beginning.
And just like the Parable of the Lost Son in Luke, and as Jesus shows us in the Colossians 3:12-13 example: you don’t need to wait until you get that apology. You don’t need to wait to forgive the other person until you feel like they’ve earned it.
Because that waiting is actually a trap. The enemy would like you trapped in a state of unforgiveness due to whatever slew of lies he can get you to believe such as: “they don’t deserve it.” “I could never forgive what they did.” “If I forgive them, I’m just condoning it.”
You forgive because you are commanded to forgive.
You forgive, because Christ has forgiven you first. You forgive and it will set you free.
The Healing Power of Letting Go and Moving Forward
We touched on the freedom you will find when you choose to forgive. You let go. You let go and it’s liberating freedom that will surround your thoughts, your inner-being. A peace will settle in.
You will let go of the anger, the resentment, and bitterness .
By forgiving and letting go, you end up offering them the same grace you and I are offered every single day.
Embracing a Life of Forgiveness
If there’s any take away for you today, I hope a weight is lifted off and you have the courage to forgive. Forgiveness is a daily choice. It’s one of the best decision you can make.
I would love hear if you’ve experienced the freedom found in forgiveness and forgiving others. Please leave a comment or contact me here.
Coming soon, we’ll look at some particle examples of how to forgive and some helpful ways to forgive in your day-to-day life. Please subscribe so you don’t miss it!
